The Rape of India's Daughters

The story of rape is not something new to the soul of India or her daughters , It is a story enacted over and over again over many centuries and millenia .
The woes of a Draupadi being dishonoured in the midst of  five warrior husbands and an entire royal family or the kidnapping of a Sita by a desperate Ravan ,  or the rape of an unsuspecting Ahalya by a disguised Indira are all stories we have heard of whilst we still sat in our grandmothers lap . How big a lie is it then for people sitting in high office to blame the influence of the western world and its culture for the rape , molestations and dishonour of modern day  Indian women ?
The Sita of the treta Yuga silently bore her sorrow , dispite having proved her chastity by way of an agni pariksha and retired to Sage Valmiki's ashram . The voice of a common man thus becoming more powerful than the purity of an agnipariksha .
The Draupadi of the dwapara yuga was no silent spectator and did not take injustice with silence . She let her hair loose and vowed that she would only tie it up on the day she had stained her palms with the blood of her molesters .
In todays kaliyuga modern day Indian men and  women have  taken to the streets with protests , candle light vigils and hunger strikes to fight the cancerous increase of  gender bias , eve teasing and rape . Even worse still  the rape and abuse of children as young as 4 and 5 .
In the meantime our so called leaders have shamed themselves with many a careless , illogical and obnoxious comment on the reasons as to why a women in todays India is not safe ,and Kaap panchayats are busy dishing out dikkats which stop women from wearing western clothing , using cell phones and going out alone .
How hypocritical can some people get when they want to use all the modern amenities of the world , but will stop a woman from using  the same modern amenities stating them to be the cause of immorality and rape .
The same men and women who pray with bowed heads to a lakshmi , saraswati and Kali will terminate a pregnancy when they know that the unborn fetus is a girl .
The same men and women who recite stories about a Sita swayamvar and a Shakuntala ghandharva style marriage to Dushyanth will ban love marriages when it comes to their daughters and sons .
The rape and subjugation of Indias daughters will end only on the day that every mother decides to bring up her son's and daughters in the same way , with the same rules, opportunities , education and freedom .
The rape and subjugation of Indias daughters will end only when a man realises  that by dishonouring a women he is also  dishonouring himself  . It would also  do society good to realise that if it considers a women less virtious and a shame if she has been raped , then can it consider a rapist more virtious and a pride to society ?

Climbing Mount Snowdon

My three previous visits to Wales had only left me looking up at Mount Snowdon and thinking .....
Oh i wish i can climb up some day . So finally on the 17th of April i was thrilled to bits when hubby proclaimed " chammoo, i have booked ourselves a B&B in Wales " , I said " I am only going to Wales on condition that we climb the mountain" and off we went .
We reached our lovely B&B a few miles out of the Welsh village of Betws-Y-Coed in Snowdonia and camped out on our bed feasting on our take away meal that we had picked up for our dinner . Well fed and some TV later , we had a good nights sleep .
We woke up to a blissfull morning , with the rays of the sun streaming through our window , changed into comfortable clothes for our climb and enthusiastically marched downstairs for a full English breakfast complete with fruit , cereal , toast , ham , sausage , eggs , grilled tomatoes and mushrooms and washed it down with a cup of good English tea . The breakfast left us feeling like a million bucks .
Our drive to Pen-Y-Pass felt really short as i was waiting eagerly to get out of the car and begin climbing , but as we reached the car park , a feeling of dissapointment on being told that the car park was full . We began driving up the mountain road again in search of a parking spot , a few hundred metres away my husband decided to make a U turn and turned back . Lo and behold , just as we reached the road opposite the car park , a vehicle backed out and we got our free car park for the day . What amazing timing ! i say .. that free car park was surely destined for us .
At 10.20 we set off the good old Miners path . The Miners' Track begins at the car park at Pen-y-Pass  which is at an  altitude of around 350 metres (1,150 ft), and is the most popular route to the summit of Snowdon. It begins by skirting  llyn Teyrn  before climbing slightly  It follows the lake's shoreline before climbing to Glaslyn , from where it ascends steeply zig zagging its way up to meet up with  the Pyg Track, and on reaching the summit ridge, is united with the Llanberis Path and Snowdon Ranger Path. Old  Derelict copper  mine buildings are encountered along several parts of the climb . Our full to the brim tummies had us a little breathless by the time we reached the 1st lake , but once we warmed up things got better and we began to feel lighter . The views got better with every few feet that we climbed and so did the wind . There were times at higher levals that we had to hold on to the rocks , in order not to get blown off . Much to my shock i did get thrown off my feet once  by a strong gust of wind and decided that i wasen't too big after all .
Parts of the climb were quite steep for us as we are not by any way regular climbers  , but we took the climb one step at a time and refused to look at our watches .... I remembered my Reiki master and went about climbing up like i did my So- hum meditation ... it felt easier for sure . We stopped for a minute or two many a time , to breathe in the crispy fresh air and absorb the heavenly views of Wales .  We reached about 400 metres in line from the summit when i had the worst ever cramps i have ever had . My entire right leg felt completely numb and like a lifeless tree trunk . I sat there calm , smiling and taking long  and deep breaths and hoping that if ever a rescue helicoptor had to fly in ... let it be Prince William .... LOL :-) . A few minutes later i could feel my veins loosening up and my tree began feeling like a leg again , with that melted away my thoughts of Prince William and we trudged along twords the summit . A good 3 hours and 30 minutes from the time we had started we sat perched on the busy summit like two happy sea gulls .
In our eagerness to climb Mount Snowdon our mountain boots were left at home and we reached the top with our walking shoes . We therefore took the decesion to decend the summit by way of the Llanberis Path an easier but longer route . We were also told that we could find a bus at the village of Llanberis that would take us back to the Pen-y-pass where our car stood waiting for us . Our 2 bottles of water finished , we filled up our bottles with snow and stayed hyderated on the way down . Our decent took us a good 3 hours and 30 mts  and i had fulfilled my dream to climb Mount Snowdon which is 3560 feet . My aches and pains are now worth a million bucks . My first hand heavenly views and experiance is worth a couple of a million .
I have a new dream now and that is to climb  Ben Nevis in Scotland which is 4409 feet ! One has to fulfill old dreams to have new ones ... Ben Nevis .. here i come !   

Passing Clouds !

I sit peacefully , watching the ocean .......
Perched high in the verandah of this beautiful beach front home .
A gentle breeze , combing through my wet shampooed hair .
My thoughts ......... swimming in , one after the other ,
Like the waves frolicking into shore and flirting with the sands ..... happily .
What a perfect picture ; solace to the eye's of my soul ... and .... the ears of my heart .
Across the limitless canvas of the skies , strokes of painted clouds , passing by .... lazily ,
Sluggishly watching the world go by , with gay abandon .
Down below sitting hand in hand , whispering sweet nothings , a couple !
Enveloped in a cocoon of love , in a world of their own ,
Promises ...... like footprints in the sand , washed away with the next outbound surf .
Far away sits a net , next to a catamaran .... both tied together , for life !
Waiting to go out , with the next tide .
Their promise ..... lies in the bounty of their next catch .
Dashing across the sands , a group of dogs , playfully growling .
No words to keep , no home to go back to ......... but .........
Man's most faithful and trustworthy friend .
Across the skies , they fly back to their nests , A formation of birds .
No maps , no air traffic control ....... but ....... always on track ... homebound .
As the sun goes down , i watch the fading colours and the creeping shadows ...... but .......
I am sure of his promise to rise again tomorrow morning .
I think to myself ........... In this beauitiful picture ,
In this perfection in chaos ,
Man ..... ?? Are'nt you just a kaleidoscope of life ,
Just another passing cloud , in all creation ??
Just another stepping stone to perfection ??

Love

Why do people " Fall in Love " ??...........
Shouldn't two people rise in love , Grow in love .........
What an irony that something as beauitiful as love , should make one fall.
The sea has its own intoxicating agent ,
Its mass expance and undiscovered depths ,
The moon is amazing tonight , and
Romance is always linked to the moon.
A walk in the moonlight by the sands of the sea ,
is far more romantic than a walk in the park by day .
Though the rustle of the leaves of the trees, can't be compared ,
to the kiss of the waves at your feet ..........
LOVE is everything , that Love is not .
Whatever is not love , is love .........
If you know , what is NOT !
THEN , YOu know what IS .
Love is just , Love !
Absorbing , Giving & More ..........

Feelings of a neglected DRESS :-)

Its dark inside here , so claustrophobic and stuffy .
I haven't moved since the last time she took us all out , to put some order .
I was hoping so much , that she would put me some place up front , where i would be seen . But ......
I said to the salwaars the other day ' she just does not seem to like us anymore ' does she ?
They too seemed in agreement !
The ones in front , keep going out to office and outings , then , pay a visit to the drycleaners and come back smelling so good and nice .
And , have you seen the way that black trouser behaves ? As if he rules the world :-(
Well well i said to him " just you wait and see , the last guy whose place you took , showed off for 10 months and dissappeared "
He must be in bits now , cleaning the kitchen slab ........ or God , knows where ....
Whenever , i feel low and down , I think of the lovely place i used to live in ............
It was a well lit beauitiful place , airy and cool , and i could see through the shelf where i was placed .
People came in , took us out , felt us , held us close to them , looked into the mirror ...... smiled ...... thought ..... then went on to another one , but there was hope ....
I always thought life outside of this place was better , and kept hoping to be picked up .
But , kept getting folded up and put in again , they all said i was too bright .........
I remember that day like just now , when she came in with a friend , saw me and in one second clutched on to me and said " wow , look at this , isent it beauitiful " .
Her friend said " well its a lil bright , but with your colour , you will carry off anything .
and she took me home .... Then i went to this lady's place where i got embroidered and measured and cut up and sewed ......... painful but it gave me shape .
They at least folded me with care now , did'nt roll me up like they did at the store .........
mmmmm...... she raved about me as soon as she saw me , and wore me out a few times ........ then ...........
I wonder what happened ?? someone told her , she looked much better in trousers ........ and ...... since then , i only see the back of the shelf .
I wonder ....... is my life over ? does she like me still ?
will i too get to go out and hear " wow , thats a nice dress " ..........
I think of my days in the glass shelf ...... i thought life outside was better . ....
I'm here and i'm thinking " maybe there still is hope " .

PS: i am sure each one of us sometime or the other feels like the neglected dress in the shelf and can identify with its feelings but lets remember that " there is always HOPE "

Relationships !

Its been a long and short , super fast and snaily slow , introspective and paint the town red , 15 days .
So many new feelings , emotions , reversals , fast forwards ..... realisations ..... acceptances !!
So many new ideas , inputs , discoveries .............. from outside .... and ........ within .
Like the chugging of the train on rails ....... sometimes slow and sometimes fast .
After a snail moving , slow , long , first week of may , bag's packed and ready to leave .....
cosily tucked into my 3rd a/c coach in the " west coast express " i sit .........
Watching the world go by , like a picture post card in motion ...... smiling ...... thoughtful !
People get in ..... get out , at different stations ...... so much like life ?????
stations of happiness , sadness , euphoria , contentment , trust , deceit ...........
In and out of my thoughts , the train rocks me to sleep , the rock and roll on rails .........
Fond memories of a pleasent journey ......
Mangalore it is ! red tiles , coconut palms , winding roads ......... and inbound family !
All , happy to be together again , a wedding in the family ......... after 15 yrs .
After blessings in plenty , during the "roce " ( a function on the previous day of the wedding , bride dressed in her mothers wedding saree , and anointed with coconut milk and oil , and blessed by the whole family, amid songs about her childhood , a mixture of tears and smiles ).
The couple took their vows , till death do we part !
The bride beauitiful and serene , the groom handsome and regal !
I sit next to mom ......in Bijai church ..... built a hundred years back ... this is where she and dad said "i do " in 1951 .
After 56 years of togetherness in 2006 , he departed .... saying " I did " .
We sit together .......... A generation apart .
For them it was " till death do we part "
For me it was " Part or you will die " everyday , ever moment . " i too did ".
The only constant in time ....... Change !
An hour of ceremonies and two signatures later , two are joined for life , saying " i do " .
17 yrs of marriage , 2 children and 3 years of seperation later , i wait for a signature to say " I Don't " .
A system that considered me adult enough at 18 to say " i do " ,
Doesen't consider me adult enough at 40 to say " i Don't " ........ ironical ....... yet true !
The melody of the final hymn , brings me back to track .....
The happiness of the moment , brings a beauitiful smile back ......
It hardly matters to the scenery outside , as to which train is passing by ...... but .....
It surely matters to the passenger inside to look out with eyes open wide .............
In this destination called life , its the journey that matters ...........
Doesen't matter if one gets off at the first stop or last ..... May it be an eventful ride !
In a fairytale movie setting , strings of music reverberating ..... we danced away the night !!!

oasis or mirage ??

I sit in a green oasis , palm trees swaying in the breeze , memories of the past , beauitiful and sad .
Firmly grounded to the present , and
The future but a speck in time .........
How much is a speck in time worth ?
Can time set a price , to buy that speck in time ?
If time had a personality to itself , would it be happy with the things it's done ?
Changes ! the very history of nations , lives of millions, relationships , memories , heartbreaks , upheavels , surprises .
What is that moment worth ?
The moment when the atom bomb dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki ,
The moment when the planes crashed into the pentagon and the WTC ,
The moment when innocent children lost limbs in mindless mines planted ,
The moment when loved ones leave , for this lifetime or just for now .
Worth ?
The ANGUISH of a smothered population !
The SHOCK of a striken nation !
The PAIN of a dismembered child !
The HEARTACHE of a grieving soul !
That is the price of that one moment , when time ironically smiles at it .
that not only that one moment , but entire humanity pays .
For somewhere etched in the memory chip of the akarshic records ,time leaves engraved its name , with our wrong doing .
And with that name will go down the anguish , shock , pain and heartache of an entire spectrum .
I look around , no oasis i see .
just plain sand , my mirages and me .
Deserted ! for this speck of time !
In an endless journey ...............
LIFE .........

Dusty ! This is for you my Darling !

1996 ....... I visited a friend ! a beauitiful home , a beauitiful person and her beauitiful pets !
Pinchu he was called ....... Short for Helmut Prince and She ...... Bessy .
He came all the way from Moscow and she from Bangalore , to be his companion .
Both , perfect American cocker spanials ........ just perfect !
I so want , one of their offspring when they have one , i said , and she promised " Yes ".
Almost a year later on the 14th of feb , i got a call saying " they have just had your baby " .
And , so into my life entered , life again !
hardly over 250 grams was he , 42 days old , just big enough to fit into my palms , as i rocked him to sleep ...... absolutely loveable ....... divine .
My carpenter's were working .... sawdust and wood all over the place .
And this little ball of wool , loved a roll in it , and so ! he was christened " Dusty " .
The pet of the home , the light of our lives ..... the name called the most ....."Dusty".
He got upto mischief , tore up the socks , bit up the shoes , and we all yelled ... " Dusty".
He woke up the kids , to get them ready for school , and i said ....." thank you Dusty" !
Ready at the door , to either say "Bye " or " Hi " , he's been always there ....." Dusty " .
Sitting by my side , every time the tears rolled , silently saying ......" i'm your Dusty".
11 long years , from puppy to pet , pet to kid , and kid to soulmate !
I've grown to love you so much .............my Dearest Dusty ! ! ! !
You have taught me some of life's most beauitiful lessons .......... Silently, quietly , without saying a word !
I owe so much of myself to you ........."Dusty ".

I watch him as he is today ...... in his years ... older than me ??
suffering aches and pains of old age ........... silently !
Almost like a father ........ to that mother in me .
Those watery eyes , that can hardly see .
A limp in those paws , that were once sprightly .

Were you that little pup in my palms ? ? " my darling Dusty "

Clear out the cobwebs !

Ah ! at last , i am done for the day . I scrubbed the entire floor and it looks like new .
Tile by tile , edge by edge , with a meditative vengence against the accumulated dirt and grime.
since i knew i had to clean the floor , i began with bringing down the few cobwebs ,
cleaned the fans , the lights and the furniture swept the place clean , and then went on the warpath....... to get the home clean !
The regular cleaning happens every day , But still ! somehow .... the accumulation happens ??
Home sweet home ........ that's what each one has said , at some point in their life .......
Now , After a good bath , an awesome glass of mango shake and fully refreshed , i wonder ???
Do we ever say to ourselves ... " me sweet me " ?
Do we ever clear up the cobwebs of hate , jealousy , greed and selfishness ????
Do we clean our thoughts and misconceptions , our feelings , our emotions ........
Do we sweep out all the acids and toxins , created by the above in our systems ?????
Do we ........?
The day begins and ends with brushing teeth and a bath .........
The external body clean ....
The inside ........ only each ones concience knows .
I smile :-) , i think and i say to myself " me sweet me "
Let me clear my thoughts every morning , about the doubts and fears i have .
Let me bathe my soul and heart , with love , to keep away .....
The hate , jealousy , greed and selfishness that may tempt me during my day .
Let me clear the walls of misconception , that my emotions and feelings might have caused .
Let me ..... let me ......... please ! let me .
Let me be able to say with pride ..........
" Me sweet me , in my home sweet home " .

Earliest Memories 2

Grinning ! a purple Grin :-) .....
One peek into the mirror , and i was scared of my own self . See what you have done ! said dad's cousin . I was a lil over three and had gone with mom to a place called Mercara , up in the western ghats. Annie , dad's cousin was a teacher in the local school , so i trooped off with her to be the new specimen in her class . I was given a pencil and some paper to do what i wanted , while she tried to fill up the brains of her pupils .
I scribbled a bit , then went into deep thought , with the pencil in my mouth , i must have drawn my teeth with it , instead of the paper . The pencil being a carbon pencil , added colour to my otherwise pink mouth and created a masterpiece of pink and purple , and with a few brilliant external strokes on my cheeks , i did look the perfect specimen !
Amid giggles , laughter and clean white grins , i was escorted outside to many warlike gargles !
They could hardly change the colourful mouthscape . oops ! the tears trickled like waterfalls on the way back home ,with Annie telling me that all my teeth would fall off and i would turn into a purple coloured girl . After a lot of brushing and a lot of tooth powder wasted , i did look a few shades better. The fears of a purple coloured hag with no teeth still fresh in the mind , i fell asleep , after a nice good lunch.
The post siesta evening arrived and with it the energy to be upto more discoveries........
As in any small town in India , visitors other than the two legged human kind , also shared our living space .... and there i saw a little creature hopping up and down ....... interesting , i thought .... i surely want it . After many slippery attempts to get it , i managed to catch the little fellow on his back and victoriously went inside to show my trophy to the family ........
Oh ! my God ! ......... Oh ! my God ............ I heard , some open mouths..... i saw , and ....
The poor froggie was yanked out of my hands and thrown out the door ...........
He sat there on the verandah , scared out of his wits , as much as i was ..... immobile !
Then , realising he had his freedom he hopped off into the evening.
My new playmate gone , i was now yanked off to be washed with soap and dettol , while being told that i would get boils all over , if the froggie had pee'ed on me.
Oh ! a long day it was and an even longer night , with me falling asleep that night with fears of boils, fallen teeth and turning purple for life . I really didn't need a mirror to imagine what i would look like , if what people said were to come true ......
Here was my first lesson to self painting and catching frogs at 3 ............... :-)

Earliest Memories !

I sit back and think ! how far back in time can i go ?
my earliest memories,the carefree times , the innocence of childhood , the divinity of infancy.
mmmm ! no i do not remember the comfortable bouncing around in the amniotic sac , or the drumbeat of my mothers heart .
i do not remember ,the sudden flash of the first light i saw or the tornado of air my lungs breathed for the first time,
I do not even remember the contentment of suckling at my mothers breast , securly cuddled in her arms .
I do not remember sleeping like a lil angel , with arms up above my head , and smiling to sweet nothings - happy memories of another lifetime ?
why ?? memory , why do you fail me , what probably were the most beauitiful moments of my life ?
Slowly , but yes like out of the mist , on a cold winter's day i see myself ..........
lil and small , dressed in a lil white dress , dragging myself on my butt .......
right hand in a cast , a sling around my neck .......sliding across the floor ...... 11 months !
It does coincide .
I supposedly jumped off the kitchen window , escaped my sisters waiting arms and landed on the floor .
First birthday cake , got itself a left hand drive .
Nothing ! after that ......... gone again ....... lapse ........
I see myself , near a vast expance of water , its sound and size scares me to silence , my heart beat reverberates so loud , almost silencing the sound of the waves and the wind .
Sand , Sand and Sand is all i see , and far away like where i may never reach is a tall tower from which glows a light .
Someone , lifts me up and carries me twords this surging water , i remember my legs turning to jelly ..... kicking in all directions at the same time .
The earth caves in , and sucks me in with it as the waves recede........
There are more tears and fears inside that lil two and a half year old , than the ocean itself .
today ! decades have gone by .....
I sit here in my swivelling chair and smile , Three minutes away is the endless ocean ,
Its waves soothe my heart , its loud silence in between , helps me be in touch with the one inside.
it touches the very depths of my soul .
sometime , somewhere , again ! in another life .......
again a lil one , is carried and thrown in that vast expance of water .
This time .........
She gurgles and smiles ...... laughs ......... happiness ..... memories of another lifetime ?????
She is scared no more !

Love ! with life

I question myself ? why do i love you ?
I do not seem to find an answer.
Its like asking the candle,If it knows the meaning of light .
When it's job is to do nothing else but shine bright .
Can you seperate the waves from the ocean ?
Can you seperate the stars from the sky ?
Can you hold a rose in your hand , and kiss the fragrance goodbye ?
Can you stand in the rain and hope to be dry ?
Can you laugh in pain and in happiness cry ?
Oh love ! how elusive you are !
If you were in love , with love , yourself ,
you'll realise that , you're in every breath i take .
you are the second in every minute of my day .
you are in every thought that takes boredom away .
You are my question and my answer .

Miss on Fire !

A big hello to all those who hitt this blog !
Welcome !
This is my first post , i have so much to say but sit , like a painter before an empty canvas wondering which brush and which colour to start with ?
Wondering which picture to paint ? a collage , a scenery , a potrait , an abstract or modern art ?
Life ! is a mixture of all these put together , dull and lifeless at times , colourful and vibrant at times . The beauty of life is that there is beauty in both , beauty in happy times and beauty in not so happy times .
The beauty is in learning lessons from the not so good times , and
savouring , cherishing and nurturing the good times , and , storing its energies , to use in the not so good times .
thereby creating a continuity of happiness in both situations.
A fire within , A fire that will enjoy happiness and a fire that will fight injustice . A fire that will take up both sides of the coin with the same strength and passion.
A fire that will work hard to get what it wants , and a fire that is willing to stand up and fight injustice in its face , face to face , till the fruits of justice prevail.
So ! stand up and fight for what is just ! this time and everytime . Cheers !