I sit in a green oasis , palm trees swaying in the breeze , memories of the past , beauitiful and sad .
Firmly grounded to the present , and
The future but a speck in time .........
How much is a speck in time worth ?
Can time set a price , to buy that speck in time ?
If time had a personality to itself , would it be happy with the things it's done ?
Changes ! the very history of nations , lives of millions, relationships , memories , heartbreaks , upheavels , surprises .
What is that moment worth ?
The moment when the atom bomb dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki ,
The moment when the planes crashed into the pentagon and the WTC ,
The moment when innocent children lost limbs in mindless mines planted ,
The moment when loved ones leave , for this lifetime or just for now .
Worth ?
The ANGUISH of a smothered population !
The SHOCK of a striken nation !
The PAIN of a dismembered child !
The HEARTACHE of a grieving soul !
That is the price of that one moment , when time ironically smiles at it .
that not only that one moment , but entire humanity pays .
For somewhere etched in the memory chip of the akarshic records ,time leaves engraved its name , with our wrong doing .
And with that name will go down the anguish , shock , pain and heartache of an entire spectrum .
I look around , no oasis i see .
just plain sand , my mirages and me .
Deserted ! for this speck of time !
In an endless journey ...............
LIFE .........
Friday, April 25, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Dusty ! This is for you my Darling !
1996 ....... I visited a friend ! a beauitiful home , a beauitiful person and her beauitiful pets !
Pinchu he was called ....... Short for Helmut Prince and She ...... Bessy .
He came all the way from Moscow and she from Bangalore , to be his companion .
Both , perfect American cocker spanials ........ just perfect !
I so want , one of their offspring when they have one , i said , and she promised " Yes ".
Almost a year later on the 14th of feb , i got a call saying " they have just had your baby " .
And , so into my life entered , life again !
hardly over 250 grams was he , 42 days old , just big enough to fit into my palms , as i rocked him to sleep ...... absolutely loveable ....... divine .
My carpenter's were working .... sawdust and wood all over the place .
And this little ball of wool , loved a roll in it , and so ! he was christened " Dusty " .
The pet of the home , the light of our lives ..... the name called the most ....."Dusty".
He got upto mischief , tore up the socks , bit up the shoes , and we all yelled ... " Dusty".
He woke up the kids , to get them ready for school , and i said ....." thank you Dusty" !
Ready at the door , to either say "Bye " or " Hi " , he's been always there ....." Dusty " .
Sitting by my side , every time the tears rolled , silently saying ......" i'm your Dusty".
11 long years , from puppy to pet , pet to kid , and kid to soulmate !
I've grown to love you so much .............my Dearest Dusty ! ! ! !
You have taught me some of life's most beauitiful lessons .......... Silently, quietly , without saying a word !
I owe so much of myself to you ........."Dusty ".
I watch him as he is today ...... in his years ... older than me ??
suffering aches and pains of old age ........... silently !
Almost like a father ........ to that mother in me .
Those watery eyes , that can hardly see .
A limp in those paws , that were once sprightly .
Were you that little pup in my palms ? ? " my darling Dusty "
Pinchu he was called ....... Short for Helmut Prince and She ...... Bessy .
He came all the way from Moscow and she from Bangalore , to be his companion .
Both , perfect American cocker spanials ........ just perfect !
I so want , one of their offspring when they have one , i said , and she promised " Yes ".
Almost a year later on the 14th of feb , i got a call saying " they have just had your baby " .
And , so into my life entered , life again !
hardly over 250 grams was he , 42 days old , just big enough to fit into my palms , as i rocked him to sleep ...... absolutely loveable ....... divine .
My carpenter's were working .... sawdust and wood all over the place .
And this little ball of wool , loved a roll in it , and so ! he was christened " Dusty " .
The pet of the home , the light of our lives ..... the name called the most ....."Dusty".
He got upto mischief , tore up the socks , bit up the shoes , and we all yelled ... " Dusty".
He woke up the kids , to get them ready for school , and i said ....." thank you Dusty" !
Ready at the door , to either say "Bye " or " Hi " , he's been always there ....." Dusty " .
Sitting by my side , every time the tears rolled , silently saying ......" i'm your Dusty".
11 long years , from puppy to pet , pet to kid , and kid to soulmate !
I've grown to love you so much .............my Dearest Dusty ! ! ! !
You have taught me some of life's most beauitiful lessons .......... Silently, quietly , without saying a word !
I owe so much of myself to you ........."Dusty ".
I watch him as he is today ...... in his years ... older than me ??
suffering aches and pains of old age ........... silently !
Almost like a father ........ to that mother in me .
Those watery eyes , that can hardly see .
A limp in those paws , that were once sprightly .
Were you that little pup in my palms ? ? " my darling Dusty "
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Clear out the cobwebs !
Ah ! at last , i am done for the day . I scrubbed the entire floor and it looks like new .
Tile by tile , edge by edge , with a meditative vengence against the accumulated dirt and grime.
since i knew i had to clean the floor , i began with bringing down the few cobwebs ,
cleaned the fans , the lights and the furniture swept the place clean , and then went on the warpath....... to get the home clean !
The regular cleaning happens every day , But still ! somehow .... the accumulation happens ??
Home sweet home ........ that's what each one has said , at some point in their life .......
Now , After a good bath , an awesome glass of mango shake and fully refreshed , i wonder ???
Do we ever say to ourselves ... " me sweet me " ?
Do we ever clear up the cobwebs of hate , jealousy , greed and selfishness ????
Do we clean our thoughts and misconceptions , our feelings , our emotions ........
Do we sweep out all the acids and toxins , created by the above in our systems ?????
Do we ........?
The day begins and ends with brushing teeth and a bath .........
The external body clean ....
The inside ........ only each ones concience knows .
I smile :-) , i think and i say to myself " me sweet me "
Let me clear my thoughts every morning , about the doubts and fears i have .
Let me bathe my soul and heart , with love , to keep away .....
The hate , jealousy , greed and selfishness that may tempt me during my day .
Let me clear the walls of misconception , that my emotions and feelings might have caused .
Let me ..... let me ......... please ! let me .
Let me be able to say with pride ..........
" Me sweet me , in my home sweet home " .
Tile by tile , edge by edge , with a meditative vengence against the accumulated dirt and grime.
since i knew i had to clean the floor , i began with bringing down the few cobwebs ,
cleaned the fans , the lights and the furniture swept the place clean , and then went on the warpath....... to get the home clean !
The regular cleaning happens every day , But still ! somehow .... the accumulation happens ??
Home sweet home ........ that's what each one has said , at some point in their life .......
Now , After a good bath , an awesome glass of mango shake and fully refreshed , i wonder ???
Do we ever say to ourselves ... " me sweet me " ?
Do we ever clear up the cobwebs of hate , jealousy , greed and selfishness ????
Do we clean our thoughts and misconceptions , our feelings , our emotions ........
Do we sweep out all the acids and toxins , created by the above in our systems ?????
Do we ........?
The day begins and ends with brushing teeth and a bath .........
The external body clean ....
The inside ........ only each ones concience knows .
I smile :-) , i think and i say to myself " me sweet me "
Let me clear my thoughts every morning , about the doubts and fears i have .
Let me bathe my soul and heart , with love , to keep away .....
The hate , jealousy , greed and selfishness that may tempt me during my day .
Let me clear the walls of misconception , that my emotions and feelings might have caused .
Let me ..... let me ......... please ! let me .
Let me be able to say with pride ..........
" Me sweet me , in my home sweet home " .
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Earliest Memories 2
Grinning ! a purple Grin :-) .....
One peek into the mirror , and i was scared of my own self . See what you have done ! said dad's cousin . I was a lil over three and had gone with mom to a place called Mercara , up in the western ghats. Annie , dad's cousin was a teacher in the local school , so i trooped off with her to be the new specimen in her class . I was given a pencil and some paper to do what i wanted , while she tried to fill up the brains of her pupils .
I scribbled a bit , then went into deep thought , with the pencil in my mouth , i must have drawn my teeth with it , instead of the paper . The pencil being a carbon pencil , added colour to my otherwise pink mouth and created a masterpiece of pink and purple , and with a few brilliant external strokes on my cheeks , i did look the perfect specimen !
Amid giggles , laughter and clean white grins , i was escorted outside to many warlike gargles !
They could hardly change the colourful mouthscape . oops ! the tears trickled like waterfalls on the way back home ,with Annie telling me that all my teeth would fall off and i would turn into a purple coloured girl . After a lot of brushing and a lot of tooth powder wasted , i did look a few shades better. The fears of a purple coloured hag with no teeth still fresh in the mind , i fell asleep , after a nice good lunch.
The post siesta evening arrived and with it the energy to be upto more discoveries........
As in any small town in India , visitors other than the two legged human kind , also shared our living space .... and there i saw a little creature hopping up and down ....... interesting , i thought .... i surely want it . After many slippery attempts to get it , i managed to catch the little fellow on his back and victoriously went inside to show my trophy to the family ........
Oh ! my God ! ......... Oh ! my God ............ I heard , some open mouths..... i saw , and ....
The poor froggie was yanked out of my hands and thrown out the door ...........
He sat there on the verandah , scared out of his wits , as much as i was ..... immobile !
Then , realising he had his freedom he hopped off into the evening.
My new playmate gone , i was now yanked off to be washed with soap and dettol , while being told that i would get boils all over , if the froggie had pee'ed on me.
Oh ! a long day it was and an even longer night , with me falling asleep that night with fears of boils, fallen teeth and turning purple for life . I really didn't need a mirror to imagine what i would look like , if what people said were to come true ......
Here was my first lesson to self painting and catching frogs at 3 ............... :-)
One peek into the mirror , and i was scared of my own self . See what you have done ! said dad's cousin . I was a lil over three and had gone with mom to a place called Mercara , up in the western ghats. Annie , dad's cousin was a teacher in the local school , so i trooped off with her to be the new specimen in her class . I was given a pencil and some paper to do what i wanted , while she tried to fill up the brains of her pupils .
I scribbled a bit , then went into deep thought , with the pencil in my mouth , i must have drawn my teeth with it , instead of the paper . The pencil being a carbon pencil , added colour to my otherwise pink mouth and created a masterpiece of pink and purple , and with a few brilliant external strokes on my cheeks , i did look the perfect specimen !
Amid giggles , laughter and clean white grins , i was escorted outside to many warlike gargles !
They could hardly change the colourful mouthscape . oops ! the tears trickled like waterfalls on the way back home ,with Annie telling me that all my teeth would fall off and i would turn into a purple coloured girl . After a lot of brushing and a lot of tooth powder wasted , i did look a few shades better. The fears of a purple coloured hag with no teeth still fresh in the mind , i fell asleep , after a nice good lunch.
The post siesta evening arrived and with it the energy to be upto more discoveries........
As in any small town in India , visitors other than the two legged human kind , also shared our living space .... and there i saw a little creature hopping up and down ....... interesting , i thought .... i surely want it . After many slippery attempts to get it , i managed to catch the little fellow on his back and victoriously went inside to show my trophy to the family ........
Oh ! my God ! ......... Oh ! my God ............ I heard , some open mouths..... i saw , and ....
The poor froggie was yanked out of my hands and thrown out the door ...........
He sat there on the verandah , scared out of his wits , as much as i was ..... immobile !
Then , realising he had his freedom he hopped off into the evening.
My new playmate gone , i was now yanked off to be washed with soap and dettol , while being told that i would get boils all over , if the froggie had pee'ed on me.
Oh ! a long day it was and an even longer night , with me falling asleep that night with fears of boils, fallen teeth and turning purple for life . I really didn't need a mirror to imagine what i would look like , if what people said were to come true ......
Here was my first lesson to self painting and catching frogs at 3 ............... :-)
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Earliest Memories !
I sit back and think ! how far back in time can i go ?
my earliest memories,the carefree times , the innocence of childhood , the divinity of infancy.
mmmm ! no i do not remember the comfortable bouncing around in the amniotic sac , or the drumbeat of my mothers heart .
i do not remember ,the sudden flash of the first light i saw or the tornado of air my lungs breathed for the first time,
I do not even remember the contentment of suckling at my mothers breast , securly cuddled in her arms .
I do not remember sleeping like a lil angel , with arms up above my head , and smiling to sweet nothings - happy memories of another lifetime ?
why ?? memory , why do you fail me , what probably were the most beauitiful moments of my life ?
Slowly , but yes like out of the mist , on a cold winter's day i see myself ..........
lil and small , dressed in a lil white dress , dragging myself on my butt .......
right hand in a cast , a sling around my neck .......sliding across the floor ...... 11 months !
It does coincide .
I supposedly jumped off the kitchen window , escaped my sisters waiting arms and landed on the floor .
First birthday cake , got itself a left hand drive .
Nothing ! after that ......... gone again ....... lapse ........
I see myself , near a vast expance of water , its sound and size scares me to silence , my heart beat reverberates so loud , almost silencing the sound of the waves and the wind .
Sand , Sand and Sand is all i see , and far away like where i may never reach is a tall tower from which glows a light .
Someone , lifts me up and carries me twords this surging water , i remember my legs turning to jelly ..... kicking in all directions at the same time .
The earth caves in , and sucks me in with it as the waves recede........
There are more tears and fears inside that lil two and a half year old , than the ocean itself .
today ! decades have gone by .....
I sit here in my swivelling chair and smile , Three minutes away is the endless ocean ,
Its waves soothe my heart , its loud silence in between , helps me be in touch with the one inside.
it touches the very depths of my soul .
sometime , somewhere , again ! in another life .......
again a lil one , is carried and thrown in that vast expance of water .
This time .........
She gurgles and smiles ...... laughs ......... happiness ..... memories of another lifetime ?????
She is scared no more !
my earliest memories,the carefree times , the innocence of childhood , the divinity of infancy.
mmmm ! no i do not remember the comfortable bouncing around in the amniotic sac , or the drumbeat of my mothers heart .
i do not remember ,the sudden flash of the first light i saw or the tornado of air my lungs breathed for the first time,
I do not even remember the contentment of suckling at my mothers breast , securly cuddled in her arms .
I do not remember sleeping like a lil angel , with arms up above my head , and smiling to sweet nothings - happy memories of another lifetime ?
why ?? memory , why do you fail me , what probably were the most beauitiful moments of my life ?
Slowly , but yes like out of the mist , on a cold winter's day i see myself ..........
lil and small , dressed in a lil white dress , dragging myself on my butt .......
right hand in a cast , a sling around my neck .......sliding across the floor ...... 11 months !
It does coincide .
I supposedly jumped off the kitchen window , escaped my sisters waiting arms and landed on the floor .
First birthday cake , got itself a left hand drive .
Nothing ! after that ......... gone again ....... lapse ........
I see myself , near a vast expance of water , its sound and size scares me to silence , my heart beat reverberates so loud , almost silencing the sound of the waves and the wind .
Sand , Sand and Sand is all i see , and far away like where i may never reach is a tall tower from which glows a light .
Someone , lifts me up and carries me twords this surging water , i remember my legs turning to jelly ..... kicking in all directions at the same time .
The earth caves in , and sucks me in with it as the waves recede........
There are more tears and fears inside that lil two and a half year old , than the ocean itself .
today ! decades have gone by .....
I sit here in my swivelling chair and smile , Three minutes away is the endless ocean ,
Its waves soothe my heart , its loud silence in between , helps me be in touch with the one inside.
it touches the very depths of my soul .
sometime , somewhere , again ! in another life .......
again a lil one , is carried and thrown in that vast expance of water .
This time .........
She gurgles and smiles ...... laughs ......... happiness ..... memories of another lifetime ?????
She is scared no more !
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Love ! with life
I question myself ? why do i love you ?
I do not seem to find an answer.
Its like asking the candle,If it knows the meaning of light .
When it's job is to do nothing else but shine bright .
Can you seperate the waves from the ocean ?
Can you seperate the stars from the sky ?
Can you hold a rose in your hand , and kiss the fragrance goodbye ?
Can you stand in the rain and hope to be dry ?
Can you laugh in pain and in happiness cry ?
Oh love ! how elusive you are !
If you were in love , with love , yourself ,
you'll realise that , you're in every breath i take .
you are the second in every minute of my day .
you are in every thought that takes boredom away .
You are my question and my answer .
I do not seem to find an answer.
Its like asking the candle,If it knows the meaning of light .
When it's job is to do nothing else but shine bright .
Can you seperate the waves from the ocean ?
Can you seperate the stars from the sky ?
Can you hold a rose in your hand , and kiss the fragrance goodbye ?
Can you stand in the rain and hope to be dry ?
Can you laugh in pain and in happiness cry ?
Oh love ! how elusive you are !
If you were in love , with love , yourself ,
you'll realise that , you're in every breath i take .
you are the second in every minute of my day .
you are in every thought that takes boredom away .
You are my question and my answer .
Miss on Fire !
A big hello to all those who hitt this blog !
Welcome !
This is my first post , i have so much to say but sit , like a painter before an empty canvas wondering which brush and which colour to start with ?
Wondering which picture to paint ? a collage , a scenery , a potrait , an abstract or modern art ?
Life ! is a mixture of all these put together , dull and lifeless at times , colourful and vibrant at times . The beauty of life is that there is beauty in both , beauty in happy times and beauty in not so happy times .
The beauty is in learning lessons from the not so good times , and
savouring , cherishing and nurturing the good times , and , storing its energies , to use in the not so good times .
thereby creating a continuity of happiness in both situations.
A fire within , A fire that will enjoy happiness and a fire that will fight injustice . A fire that will take up both sides of the coin with the same strength and passion.
A fire that will work hard to get what it wants , and a fire that is willing to stand up and fight injustice in its face , face to face , till the fruits of justice prevail.
So ! stand up and fight for what is just ! this time and everytime . Cheers !
Welcome !
This is my first post , i have so much to say but sit , like a painter before an empty canvas wondering which brush and which colour to start with ?
Wondering which picture to paint ? a collage , a scenery , a potrait , an abstract or modern art ?
Life ! is a mixture of all these put together , dull and lifeless at times , colourful and vibrant at times . The beauty of life is that there is beauty in both , beauty in happy times and beauty in not so happy times .
The beauty is in learning lessons from the not so good times , and
savouring , cherishing and nurturing the good times , and , storing its energies , to use in the not so good times .
thereby creating a continuity of happiness in both situations.
A fire within , A fire that will enjoy happiness and a fire that will fight injustice . A fire that will take up both sides of the coin with the same strength and passion.
A fire that will work hard to get what it wants , and a fire that is willing to stand up and fight injustice in its face , face to face , till the fruits of justice prevail.
So ! stand up and fight for what is just ! this time and everytime . Cheers !
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